💠 Values Clarification: Naming Your Core Values

By Better Wise

Values Are the First Piece of Evidence

In the previous lesson we drew a hard line: a credible personal brand is a claim plus evidence, while performative self-promotion is a claim with nothing behind it. Values are the first layer of that evidence. They explain why you make the choices a stranger can already see on your profile or in your work. This lesson is a cutting process, not a personality quiz. You will start wide, filter hard, and end with five values you can defend.

By the end of this lesson you can:

  • Generate 20 to 30 candidate values without judging them yet
  • Cut that list with three filters: repeat, cost, pressure
  • Rewrite each surviving value as a behavior sentence instead of an adjective
  • Attach one concrete moment from your own life to each value
  • Separate your real values from the ones you borrowed from your field or family

Why a Value Label Alone Reads as Hype

"I value integrity, curiosity, and impact." A reader learns nothing from that sentence. They cannot predict a single thing you would do. Anyone can list admired words, which is exactly why admired words carry no signal.

Now read this: "I tell clients the bad news in week one, even when staying quiet would keep the contract alive for another month." That sentence predicts behavior at a cost. The cost is what makes it believable.

Keep this rule in your head for the whole lesson: a value is only evidence when it costs you something.

Step 1: Build a Long List of Candidates

Do not start with five. Start with 20 to 30 words, taken from where your values actually leak out:

  • What you complained about most as a teenager
  • What you spend money or unpaid hours on
  • What makes you angry when you see it done badly in your field
  • What you would keep doing if nobody paid you
  • Words you have failed at, and felt the failure

That last source matters. A value you have violated and regretted is usually a real value, not a borrowed one. Write the list in a note you can edit, not in your head.

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Step 2: Cut With Three Filters

flowchart TD
    A["📋<br/>Long list: 20-30 words"] --> B{"🔁<br/>Repeat test"}
    B -->|"Zero or one moment"| X["❌<br/>Park it"]
    B -->|"Two or more moments"| C{"💸<br/>Cost test"}
    C -->|"It was free"| X
    C -->|"It cost me something"| D{"⚡<br/>Pressure test"}
    D -->|"Only when watched"| X
    D -->|"Shows up when tired"| E["✅<br/>Surviving values"]
    E --> F["✍️<br/>Behavior sentence"]
    F --> G["🎯<br/>Five values, two headlines"]

Repeat test. Can you name at least three moments in the last three years when this value drove a decision? "Mentorship" passes only if you can point to three specific people and three specific hours you gave up.

Cost test. Did holding this value cost you time, money, comfort, or approval? A value that has never been inconvenient is a preference, not a value.

Pressure test. Does it show up when you are tired, rushed, or unwatched? Values that only appear when someone is evaluating you belong to your resume, not to you.

Note: Values follow you across contexts. If a word only describes your work self and vanishes on weekends, it is probably a job description wearing a values costume.

Practice: Run the repeat test

Take ten words from your long list and write a number next to each one: how many concrete moments from the last three years you can name in 60 seconds. Strike every zero. Aim for five survivors out of the ten.

Click to see a worked example

Word: "Quality." Moments named: 3 (rewrote the onboarding doc nobody asked me to fix; re-shot the product photos after a late change; delayed a launch by two days to test on a slow phone).

Word: "Innovation." Moments named: 0. Nothing comes to mind that cost me anything.

Result: Quality survives. Innovation is parked, not deleted. It may grow into a real value later, but it cannot go into your portfolio today.

Most people strike six or seven of ten. That is normal and it is the point.

Step 3: Turn the Adjective Into a Behavior

Adjectives are claimable by anyone. Behaviors are not. Convert each survivor with this formula:

"I [verb] [what] even when [cost]."

Weak label Behavior sentence What it predicts
Honesty I say the uncomfortable thing in the first meeting, even when silence would win the deal. You will hear bad news early
Craft I redo work that already passed review, even when nobody will notice. Your output has an unseen floor
Fairness I name the person who did the work, even when I am the one presenting. Credit flows to your team

If you cannot finish the "even when" clause, the value has not passed the cost test yet.

Step 4: Attach One Moment to Each Value

Every value needs an evidence card: three lines you could say out loud in an interview without exaggerating.

  1. Situation: where you were and what was at stake
  2. Choice: what you did that a different person might not have done
  3. Cost: what that choice cost you

No moralizing, no life story. One moment, told plainly.

Tip: Use a small moment. "I stayed late to fix a report" is more convincing than "I am deeply committed to excellence," because the reader can picture it and check it.

Practice: Write your first evidence card

Pick your strongest surviving value and draft three lines in the situation, choice, cost format. Then test it: does the card contain a verb you actually performed, or only a feeling you had?

Click to see a worked example

Value: Candor.

Situation: A client project was two weeks behind and my manager wanted to delay telling them.

Choice: I sent the client a short update with the real date and two options for scope.

Cost: My manager was annoyed for a week, and I lost the "smooth" reputation on that team.

Test: Passes. It contains an action I took and a price I paid.

Step 5: Five Values, Two Headlines

Five is the working set, and two of those five are the headline you lead with in a bio or an intro. If you claim twelve values, you effectively claim none, because a list that long cannot predict anything.

Rank your five by two questions: which ones have the strongest evidence, and which ones matter most for the work you want next. Those two become your positioning language in Module 2. Revisit the set every few months; values do shift as your responsibilities change, and that is allowed.

Getting Past Generic Values Without Faking Depth

  • Do not upgrade a value to sound impressive. "Excellence" is weaker than "I finish the boring part first." Specific beats grand every time.
  • Beware the borrowed value. If a word came from your company's values page or your family's expectations, ask whether you have a costly moment behind it. No moment means no claim.
  • Keep the parked list. Values that failed today may pass in two years. Filing them is different from faking them now.
  • One value, one moment. Do not stack five examples under one value and leave the others empty; a portfolio needs even support.
  • Watch your irritation. What consistently annoys you is often a value violated in front of you, which is good raw material for evidence cards.
  • Never invent a moment. If you catch yourself embellishing a story to fit a value, that is exactly the performative habit the last lesson warned about.

Your Five Values, Ready for Strengths Mapping

You now have a long list, a filtered set of five, two headlines, and at least one evidence card per value. That is the raw material for everything after this.

Quick recall:

The target number of core values in this lesson is _____, with _____ chosen as the headline. The three filters are the repeat test, the _____, and the pressure test. A behavior sentence follows the pattern "I [verb] [what] even when _____." An evidence card records the situation, the choice, and the _____. A value you claim but cannot back with your own moments is a _____.

Next up is Strengths Mapping from Lived Experience, where you will read the same evidence cards a second time, this time looking for the capabilities they reveal.

Front: How many core values should you end with, and how many are the headline? Back: Five core values, with two used as the headline.

Front: Repeat test Back: Can you name at least three moments in the last three years when this value drove a decision?

Front: Cost test Back: Did holding this value cost you time, money, comfort, or approval?

Front: Pressure test Back: Does the value show up when you are tired, rushed, or unwatched, not only when someone is evaluating you?

Front: Why does a bare label like 'I value integrity' fail as brand evidence? Back: It predicts no specific behavior, so anyone can claim it, and it reads as self-promotion.

Front: Behavior sentence formula for a value Back: 'I [verb] [what] even when [cost].'

Front: What three lines go into an evidence card? Back: Situation, the choice you made, and what that choice cost you.

Front: Borrowed value Back: A value adopted because your field, company, or family admires it, without costly moments of your own behind it.

Front: What should you do with a value that survives zero moments? Back: Park it as aspirational; it cannot appear in your portfolio until you have evidence.

Front: Why is a list of twelve or more values useless? Back: If everything is core, nothing predicts behavior, so the list carries no signal.

Front: Which source often reveals a real value quickly? Back: What consistently irritates you, plus what you have failed at and regretted.

Front: What makes a value believable in a story? Back: A visible cost you accepted in order to act on it.

Front: Why does a small, specific moment beat a big abstract claim? Back: The reader can picture it and check it, while an abstract claim cannot be verified.