🏁 Checkpoint: Disagreement, Boundaries, and Trust

By Better Wise

Quiz

  1. In a disagreement, what is the difference between a position and an interest?
    • A position is the emotion someone shows; an interest is the facts they cite.
    • A position is always the more reasonable view; an interest is the stubborn one.
    • A position is what someone says they want; an interest is why they want it.
    • A position is what you will do next; an interest is what the other person must do.
  2. A colleague says, "We should just ship on Friday." Which reply follows the four beats of respectful disagreement (shared goal, signal of difference, your reason, invitation)?
    • "That's reckless. You clearly haven't thought this through."
    • "Fine, whatever you think is best."
    • "We both want the client to be happy. I see the timeline differently: my worry is that shipping untested costs us a week of firefighting. What's driving Friday for you?"
    • "You always rush things and it never works out."
  3. Which sentence is a clean ownership statement rather than blame?
    • "You're overreacting to a small change."
    • "Everyone knows you're bad at communicating."
    • "I got caught out when the time moved. Can I get a heads-up next time?"
    • "You never tell me when plans change."
  4. In the three-step repair, why must acknowledgement come before clarification?
    • Because acknowledging first ends the conversation faster.
    • Because the re-ask step should always come first.
    • Because explaining first is heard as justification, and the other person stops listening.
    • Because the clarify step is optional and can be skipped.
  5. Which line is a boundary rather than a demand or a hint?
    • "I don't answer messages after 9pm. I'll reply first thing in the morning."
    • "You have to stop messaging me at night."
    • "I'm usually pretty tired by then..."
    • "If you message me at night again, we're done."
  6. A relative pushes back: "You never come to Sunday lunch anymore. Your sister manages it." What is the recommended first move?
    • Argue back with a new point about your sister's schedule.
    • Give in this once to keep the peace, then resent it later.
    • Explain in detail why your schedule is so busy right now.
    • Acknowledge the feeling, then restate the boundary in similar words.
  7. You promised a report by Friday but cannot make it. What builds the most trust?
    • Promise a bigger deliverable next time to make up for it.
    • Wait until Friday, then apologize for the delay.
    • Say nothing and hope they do not notice.
    • Tell them before the deadline and give a new specific time, such as Monday by noon.
  8. Which three criteria guide channel choice?
    • Length, formality, and audience size.
    • Speed, convenience, and cost.
    • Sensitivity, ambiguity, and relationship repair.
    • Tone, brevity, and written record.
  9. The three-step repair is: acknowledge, ____, re-ask.
  10. Write a three-line repair for this situation: in a team call you said, "This report is a mess," and a colleague later told you it embarrassed them in front of everyone. Then check your answer against the rubric.

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